Archive for the French Cinema Category

Zombie Cupcakes Select: Movie Bites

Posted in French Cinema, Japanese Cinema, K Cinema with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on January 3, 2010 by Cristina Blackwater

Brains! Conquer!

Now that we’ve successfully brought 2009 over to the zombie side, here’s a little recap of the bloody gems the now old Mr Oh-nine entertained us with, in no particular order.

Thirst (Bakjwi):

First and foremost, Park Chan Wook’s new masterpiece. Thirst wins pretty much everything, with his absolute brilliance, cruelty, beauty, you name it, the list is almost endless. Almost as long as my epic wait for it through most of the year. Thankfully it was more than worth it! Park Chan-wook came back with this amazing picture and reminded us what vampires are really like (as in they don’t sparkle, people!! they just don’t!!, with their classic tragic sense of romance, internal struggle, irresistible sexuality, and a taste for Revenge. Full Review: here

Drag Me To Hell:

Sam Raimi.Gypsy curses. Exorcisms. Green gooey fun. Need i say more? When this movie came out, it was a little bit like christmas. Like horror movie jesus was born again to make us cry tears of bloody joy. Personally, i never gave up on Sam Raimi, but i know of a few people who did, and when Drag Me To Hell came out he just crushed everybody’s dirty mouth with his Mighty Fist. No, seriously. Every little movie geek like me who grew up with bread and Evil Dead, knew this day would come. Here’s my idea of how much this movie kicks ass. Full Review: coming soon


Technically a 2008 movie, but the majority of us really discovered it in 2009, after its Dvd release. I like this movie so much it made me talk about it nonstop for months. It’s the journey of Anna Assoui down the terrifying spiral of abuse and torture. She suffers inexplicable pain. She’s a martyr, a fighter, a survivor, and pretty much my hero. Many labeled Martyrs as a “monster”, but here at zombie cupcakes, Monsters are good, and we love them plenty. Perfect 10. Full Review: here

Paranormal Activity:

There’s 2 very distinct school of thoughts for this movie; those who screamed amazing and those who screamed what the hell was that, also known as “i want my money back”. I  side with the amazing group. Maybe because I’m a believer. The movie is the modern Blair Witch Project. The story of a young couple haunted by a mysterious presence at night. Absolutely real and terrifying. I couldn’t sleep at night after i watched it, and i don’t care if you’re in the Poo-on-paranormal-activity party. Poo on you. I hope that demon comes for YOU next. Full Review: here

Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girl:

Yoshihiro Nishimura teamed up with Naoyuki Tomomatsu of Stacy-Attack of the schoolgirl Zombies. These two need no introduction. They also don’t need a plot whatsoever, apparently. But we absolutely don’t care! Zombie schoolgirls, incredible gore, raining blood!! Fun for the whole family! This movie is the tale of two girls who like the same guy and bite to conquer his heart. But i digress. Did i mention unbelievable amounts of blood and gore? Featuring Eihi Shiina (from Audition) and Takashi Shimizu (Ju-On saga director), Vampire Girl vs Frankenstein Girls is not out on dvd (or on the net) yet, but it will be soon. In the meantime, try other Nishimura movies like Tokyo Gore Police, or Machine GirlFull Review: coming soon

What about you? What was your favorite this year?

Zombie Cupcakes out!



Posted in French Cinema with tags , , , , , , on June 13, 2009 by Cristina Blackwater

MARTYRS – 2008


plot: The Brotherhood of the Wolf director Pascal Lauguier follows his 2004 thriller House of Voices with this relentlessly brutal tale of a girl who suffered unimaginable abuse as a young child, and the unspeakable horrors that unfold when she arrives at an isolated cabin in the woods fifteen years later. The story begins as the young, badly battered Lucie (Mylène Jampanoï) — obviously the victim of inhuman abuse — is hospitalized after somehow managing to escape her sadistic captors. Nearly catatonic after her life-altering ordeal, Lucie only manages to become functional again as a result of her friendship with Anna (Morjana Alaoui), a fellow abuse victim who selflessly reaches out to the badly damaged girl. Fifteen years later, Lucie guns down an entire family in cold blood. Is Lucie seeking belated vengeance against the people who tortured her as a young girl, or has her fragile psyche finally snapped, resulting in the bloody demise of an innocent family? Later, when Lucie calls on her old friend Anna, the truth about Lucie’s traumatic early life experience slowly comes into focus. ~ Jason Buchanan, All Movie Guide

For those of you who have been following my Twitter is already obvious that Martyrs is one my latest obsessions. According to my taste, Martyrs is hands down the best horror movie of the past few years, and after watching many of those flicks that have been labeled “torture porn” i will say that this is the only one worthy of such name. I have been watching (and re-watching) an incredibly large number of french movies lately, so i’m gonna put aside the K-Cinema category for one brief moment, take your hand, and carry you down the wonderful rabbit hole called “The French Extreme Wave”. Hopefully during this journey you will be as delighted as i have been.

Or disgusted, for what it matters.



The story is schoking, stunning, brave, brutal and moving, and even though i’m sure many viewers will either love it or really hate it, i’m gonna say that it’s a fucking masterpiece and that it has to be seen. Martyrs is gonna brutally drag you down a downward spiral of everything morally wrong and sick, push all kinds of boundaries, leaving you speechless, angry, and quite uncomfortable, as you are forced to get a taste of what real torture is like.

It’s almost like you’re gonna hate what you’re watching, but won’t be able to help but loving to hate what you’re watching.


The movie is beautifully shot (i really have a soft spot for good photography), really well paced, and it will keep you glued to the screen within the first 5 minutes up until the end. You may most likely forget to breathe until it’s over. The storytelling covers your every needs: there’s gore, there’s ghosts, hot young girls, torture scenes, flashbacks, loving and moving moments, all topped with a good soundtrack and a great camera work.


You have been warned tho, if you’re easily offended and cannot deal with real brutality literally shoved down your throat, Martyrs will result in  a monster almost impossible to swallow. And i’m saying this because if you ever experienced any kind of abuse in your life, you will definitely sympathise with the characters and maybe feel a little sick to your stomach.  And if you haven’t, well, you will feel just plain downright uncomfortable and probably wish you never started watching this movie, and again, feel a little sick to your stomach.


So go ahead and give this masterpiece a try.

If you’re either looking for entertainment or disgust, you’re gonna get what you asked for.

Whether you like it or not.