Archive for the Other Cinema Category

The Black Water Horror

Posted in Other Cinema with tags , , , on November 30, 2011 by Cristina Blackwater

The Black Water Horror

this is me and Morgan aka The Murder In Question ‘s first attempt at a horror short. it was shot a couple of years ago and now it’s finally online for you all to see. i hope you guys enjoy our project. we put a lot of heart into it.

Starring: myself, Cristina Blackwater

Director and Music : TheMurderInQuestion

i know i haven’t updated in way too long, but i hope a short torture porn starring yours truly makes up for my being MIA a little. all feedback will be appreciated, so please let me know what you think!

direct link in case embedding won’t work: http://vimeo.com/32887780

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Buried

Posted in Other Cinema with tags , , , , , , , on January 29, 2011 by Cristina Blackwater

Buried – 2010

 

Plot:  Paul is a U.S. contractor working in Iraq. After an attack by a group of Iraqis he wakes to find he is buried alive inside a coffin. With only a lighter and a cell phone it’s a race against time to escape this claustrophobic death trap.

 

Buried is a 2010 spanish thriller directed by Rodrigo Cortés and starring Ryan Reynolds.. and no one else.

he is the only on-scene presence for the whole 95 minutes. a man (Paul Conroy) is buried in a coffin with only a lighter and a cell phone. the entire movie is shot within the walls of that coffin. no other actors, no other locations. raise your hand if the premise sounds kinda boring? especially since the only actor has been previously known mostly for his romantic comedies?

well, i will assure you that Buried is anything BUT boring.

the camera follows a man down a spiral colored with many emotions. Reynolds hops from pain, fear, hope, despair, anger, resignation, anxiety, relief, sadness, happiness like the most dexterous of actors, and never once makes you realize that you are watching a film where you can only see his face and not much else.  he never once fails to deliver and he never once doesn’t seem believable. team Reynolds! (and i didn’t even like him before i saw this and Paper Man..)

i liked this movie so much that i actively took time to go scout around for negative reviews(yawn), which i never do (because again, yawn), just to see why people would be so insane not to give it a 10/10 and not find it as entertaining as i did.

they ALL blame the same things out of this character: the fact that he can’t stay calm and the fact that he uses his lighter way too much, things that “even a fucking moron knows that just consume oxygen so just fuck off and die already” (this comes from an angry viewer on IMDB). here’s my point of view, dear angry viewer(s):

first of all, if the movie caused such a big reaction out of you, it already delivered fully and you are a loser.

and second: try waking up after a terrorist attack stuck in a coffin in middle of nowhere Iraq scared shitless and then if you manage to survive, tell me all about how you didn’t breathe hard or use the ONLY weapon you had to overcome one of the primal human fears (lying in complete darkness). no? didn’t think so. you are a loser.

third: the writer thought about idiotic people like you, so he went out of his way to write down exactly why the man is EXTRA incoherent at the time of his abduction (even tho he isn’t extra incoherent, but you see, that’s how you put up with your idiotic viewers) – the man has a pathologic case of anxiety, which he takes pills for. he says this on the phone and even shows you clearly his benzodiazepine of choice before swallowing a handful of em trying not to die from repeted panic attacks. are you still whining that since he is unable to save his oxygen the movie is not realistic? man, you really are a big fat loser.

bottom line, Buried is a good movie, despite your predominance to side or not side with its point of view on morals-politics-burocracy-whatever, it’s a good, entertaining 95 minutes with a spectacular performance from an actor you wouldn’t expect something like this out of. and the display of class and style lies in keeping you interested all the way thru the end without once changing scenery or showing you a different face than the one of the main character.

i have watched this twice already: once thru a tiny airplane screen on my way to Canada, and even if i couldn’t hear perfectly – with those crappy airline headphones with funky power plugs so you can’t use your ipod ones – i found it just as enjoyable as thru a big flat screen with surround.

The Human Centipede

Posted in Other Cinema with tags , , , , on July 14, 2010 by Cristina Blackwater

The Human Centipede – first sequence – 2010

plot: The film tells the story of a German doctor who kidnaps three tourists and joins them surgically, mouth to anus, forming a “human centipede”. Having completed the operation, the doctor begins training the centipede, while attempting to hide his actions from the attention of the outside world.

To apologize for my un-excusable absence from regular posting, here I bring you something that has been murmured and talked about for months: The Human Centipede, a 2010 dutch horror film written and directed by Tom Six. Is it really the most shocking movie of all time? no. If anything I would say shockingly boring, but I will get to it later.

Let’s break it down into simple words and pictures:

We have the crazy german, Dr. Heiter, who’s only interesting feature is the pimping combination med coat + shades:

Two random American broads, dumber than the definition of dumb itself:

and The Japanese Dude, whose name is not even important, nor does his presence in the flick

dr. Boring kidnaps Dumb Broads and Japanese Dude to realize his dream of creating a Human Centipede, after briefly mentioning he already accomplished the mission with canines, and he is now ready to take the next step

a few minutes of lesson, Japanese Dude screaming (in Japanese, of course, which is the only thing he does throughout the whole movie) , and quick nip/tuk later, here we have it, the money shot.

TA-DA!

From this point on, a bunch of random boring things happen, dr.Boring has the police on his ass because they’re looking for missing Dumb Broads, Japanese Dude keeps screaming in japanese, and.. wait. no. That’s really all there is to it. Nothing else happens. And at this point you are forced to sit through an hour and half of nothingness.

This movie fails on so many levels I can’t even start to list them all, so “everything” will have to do.

It’s slow, boring, the actors are awful, the story is so not interesting you’d be better off watching pictures of dust for a couple of hours. The problem is that the flick takes itself seriously. It could have been much, much better if it just took the comic road, the over the top nonsense splatter (awesome) gore of the japanese movies ala Tokyo Gore Police, everything Troma, and so on. The fact that the story pretends to have any kind of logic appeal to it is mindblowing.

As if it wasn’t enough, “First Sequence” means this is only the first installment and that we haven’t seen the last of the Human Centipede yet:

Wikipedia states that “A sequel, titled The Human Centipede II (Full Sequence) has been planned for theaters in 2011, with filming starting in London in June 2010. Full Sequence will supposedly include a centipede composed of twelve individuals. Tom Six has stated that the first film will get audiences used to the idea of a human centipede, preparing them for the idea of a much more graphic and disturbing sequel, First Sequence being “My Little Pony compared with part two.”Tom Six has claimed that he is developing ideas for a third part, but wants to see what will happen with the second part first

OH MY GOD I CAN’T WAIT!!! (…………)

Son Of Rambow

Posted in Other Cinema with tags , , , , , , , on May 30, 2010 by Cristina Blackwater

Son of Rambow – 2007

Plot: As the summer sun shines down on England in the early 1980s, two boys who couldn’t be more different are brought together by a mutual love of cinema and a desire to emulate their favorite action movie icon. Will Proudfoot is a well-mannered schoolboy being raised in an ultra-religious community that deplores such distractions as television and seeks to maintain its purity by severely limiting contact with the outside world. In order to exorcise his creative inner demons, Will has taken to sketching imaginative drawings and complex illustrations. Lee Carter is the school terror, a rampaging hellion whose over aggressive behavior has made him an endless source of frustration to the faculty, and a source of fear to his fellow classmates. As fate would have it, Will is in the school hallway avoiding exposure to the classroom television when a fed-up teacher ejects Lee from the classroom. Though at first it appears as if Lee is about to torment timid Will just as he does the rest of the student body, the two form a tight bond after Will convinces Lee to view a bootleg copy of Rambo: First Blood. When Lee informs Will that he wants to shoot a homebrewed version of the violent action film for an upcoming amateur filmmaking contest, a sudden streak of rebellion prompts his sheltered classmate to readily agree. As the summer wears on the two boys set out to create the ultimate no-budget action movie, but their grand vision hits an unexpected hitch when a busload of French exchange students arrive at the school and the leader of the pack attempts to hijack the production.

First of all, i can’t believe nobody ever told me about the existence of such awesomeness. I literally came across it by accident. I did my research and found out that Son Of Rambow first premiered in 2007, to be released officially only a year later, in April 2008. This is pure independent cinema genius, cut all the crap about special effects and action-packed scenes, and talk about brilliant storytelling!

Two little boys from two completely different worlds brought together by the passion for cinema.. yes please!

Will:

Lee Carter:

This movie is downright perfect.

From Wikipedia: Son of Rambow is a project that Garth Jennings and Nick Goldsmith — collectively known as Hammer & Tongs — worked on for some years. Its development was interrupted when they were asked to make The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, and it is their second major feature film. It was inspired by Jennings’ own experiences as a child in the 1980s, when video equipment first became available to the public, and the film recreates the atmosphere of an English comprehensive school of the time, using a soundtrack of both familiar and lesser known pop tracks from the era

I just finished watching it a couple of minutes ago, and i had to run to my laptop and publish this entry right away, even if it has nothing to do with what i usually write about on Zombie Cupcakes. I think this is the cutest, loveliest movie i’ve probably ever seen, it truly touched my heart and if i can only turn one person to it, i will be the happiest little movie geek alive.

in other words? go. watch it. now!

you can thank me later.

(and believe me, you will)

Paranormal Activity

Posted in Other Cinema with tags , , , , , on January 2, 2010 by Cristina Blackwater

Paranormal Activity

Plot: After a young, middle class couple moves into a suburban ‘starter’ tract house, they become increasingly disturbed by a presence that may or may not be somehow demonic but is certainly most active in the middle of the night. Especially when they sleep. Or try to.

Paranormal Activity is a 2007 independent horror movie directed by Oren Peli. It follows the life of Katie (Katie Featherston) and Micah (Micah Sloat), a young couple who happens to deal first hand with the hauntings of a demonic presence. The film is the modern Blair Witch Project head-to-toes: shot with a home camera (in the filmmaker’s house), it’s presented as “found footage” from the camera set up by the couple to capture what is haunting them. In the opening credits, the filmmakers thank their parents and their local police department for the use of the edited home video footage we’re about to see. It only costed 11,000$ and after its long-awaited release in the US theaters in October 2009, went on to make over 100 million, becoming what it’s considered to be one the most profitable movies ever made.

Paranormal Activity was super hyped, and even branded as “scariest movie of all times”, and for that reason, soon developed two completely opposite school of thoughts: those who really loved it and those who really despised it (altho i have to say one thing to those who didn’t like it; watching this movie in a noisy and crowded movie theater just doesn’t give it justice. Try watching it alone, in a dark room, with headphones on, and then see if it doesn’t stick with you even a little bit)

I remember when Blair Witch came out the reaction was exactly the same: some were coming home shocked and puzzled and some others where more like “uhm.. what was that?” . There simply was no in-between whatsoever.

Now, let’s just say that if you’re a believer – in ghosts and hauntings and the like, that is – chances are you’ll really dig it. Personally i found the movie to be absolutely frightening, real, and scary as hell in its simplicity. I’m with those who couldn’t sleep the night they watched it. And as the horror hound that i am, i couldn’t wait for the challenge, for the discovery of something that despite my “now accustomed to atrocities” mind, could still give me the chills.

As you may already know, there are two alternate endings : the first, original, 2007 release – and the 2009 theater one. I won’t discuss them here for the sake of those who haven’t seen it yet, but if you want to read more about it just click here. There is also a less known third version that was part of a private screening and was later added to the Dvd.

I don’t have many pictures to show you this time, since the movie is very simple and follows the everyday things of a normal couple. You’ll have to get used to the slow (thus realistic) pace, building up to events that are more and more evident, messing up with Micah and Katie’s life to the point of non return.

All in all Paranormal Activity was one of the most discussed, certainly most successful movies of the past few years, so even if you don’t believe in “silly ghosts” and all that jazz, give it a try either way, just like that, with no particular expectations, for the ride will be entertaining to say the least.

Bronson

Posted in Other Cinema with tags , , , , , , , , , , on January 1, 2010 by Cristina Blackwater

Bronson – 2009

Plot: In 1974, a hot-headed 19-year-old named Michael Peterson decided he wanted to make a name for himself and so, with a homemade sawn-off shotgun and a head full of dreams he attempted to rob a post office. Swiftly apprehended and originally sentenced to 7 years in jail, Peterson has subsequently been behind bars for 34 years, 30 of which have been spent in solitary confinement. During that time, Michael Petersen, the boy, faded away and ‘Charles Bronson,’ his superstar alter ego, took center stage. Inside the mind of Bronson – a scathing indictment of celebrity culture

Bronson is a 2009 biographical crime film directed by Nicolas Winding Refn, about the life of notorious prisoner Michael Gordon Peterson, played by Tom Hardy. It is, as the poster says, “A Clockwork Orange of the 21st century”.

I couldn’t have explained it better with a thousand words. As a matter of fact, the entire time i was watching it that’s exactly what i was thinking. I stumbled upon this movie thanks to one of my favorites movie-geek friends, Kevin (@The_Cameo) on one of our many – and very nerdy – movie stuff conversations. I really need to thank him because his recommendation just gave me about 90 minutes of pure, gold, and good old ultraviolence:

Everything about this movie is pretty much amazing. Camera works, soundtrack, performances. Tom Hardy, who met the real Charlie Bronson to prepare for the movie, did an outstanding job portraying England’s most popular inmate.

I think I’m gonna let the pictures speak for me, because as of right now I still have the rush and the thrill that would make my words just a blurry combination of ways to repeat the word “awesome” over and over again.

Alternatively, there’s always Wikipedia: Born into a respectable middle class family, Peterson would nevertheless become one of the country’s most dangerous criminals, and is known for having spent almost his entire life in solitary confinement. Bronson is narrated with humour, blurring the line between comedy and horror. It explores the idea of a man’s violence as his alter-ego.

Also, i instantly developed the biggest crush on Earth for this guy, and just so you know, he’s totally gonna be my next boyfriend. That’s the extent of my “expert point of view” on this movie, Bronson.

No, but really, you HAVE to see this movie. You just have to.

It will make you scream “Alex!” and “Ludwig Van!!” a few times.

Guaranteed.